


Regression

by lamardeuse



Series: Getting To Know You [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-05
Updated: 2010-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-09 07:52:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamardeuse/pseuds/lamardeuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series to accompany Season Two of SGA. Part Four: Duet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regression

**Author's Note:**

> Please note: rating refers to overall series rating. Individual parts may carry a lower rating.

It took John a while to figure it out.

To be fair, he had other priorities competing for his attention, so the unceremonious ending of whatever the hell he’d been doing with Rodney for the past couple of months didn’t register on his radar at first.  He’d lived without sex before, sometimes for disgustingly long periods of time, and he could do it again; right now his personal life was going to have to take a back seat to finding Ford and keeping news of Atlantis from ending up on the Wraith equivalent of CNN.

Then one night he’d been sitting in the mess hall eating red Jell-O, his first Jell-O in over a year and how pathetic was it that he was _enjoying _it, and he’d overheard a couple of the scientists talking in low voices at a table near the balcony. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.  I didn’t think he’d ever say yes.”  He recognized that voice—it was Washington, an anthropologist who’d helped them understand some of the more—_interesting_—cultures they’d come across.

Her words were answered by a breathy chuckle that wasn’t familiar to him.  “You and me both.”

“Katie…”

“What?”

“McKay does understand this is a _date _date, right?”

Above the sound of his blood rushing in his ears, John could hear the other woman—Katie, her name was _Katie_, say, “I don’t see why he wouldn’t.  Why wouldn’t he?”

John turned his head as nonchalantly as possible in time to see Washington shrug.  “No reason.  I guess I just thought maybe…”  Her gaze rose and met John’s, and her dark eyes widened marginally, then veered back to her friend.  “No reason.”

John shoved the last couple of spoonfuls of Jell-O into his mouth and effected a strategic retreat from the field as quickly as possible. 

    
    
    
    
 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    
    
    
    
 

  
After five more visits to five more planets turned up nothing but rumors, John flew Teyla to the mainland to give her a couple of days off and decided he’d try doing something productive for a change.  When he got back he buttonholed Zelenka about their current projects, and the physicist was overjoyed that he suddenly had a volunteer who could make things light up on demand.  They planned out an expedition to the north side of the city, and John basked in the novel feeling of being useful.

He hadn’t seen Rodney in six days.  Not that he’d been counting. 

John ran into him when he showed up at the lab to pick up Zelenka; while the little Czech skittered from pillar to post picking up last bits of equipment he needed, Sheppard walked over to Rodney’s desk and rested a hip on the edge.  After a few seconds of intensely ignoring him, Rodney tensed, his hands stalling on the keyboard.  John waited for the put-upon “Can I help you?” or some other pointed barb—obviously he was keeping Rodney from his work—but it didn’t come.

That pissed John off:  the fact that Rodney, of all people, would see the need to _spare_ him the psychic trauma of his rapier wit, and so he leaned down to deliver a little trauma of his own.  “I hear you have a hot date.”

Rodney’s head snapped up, the usual dog’s lunch of emotions clouding his face.  He clenched his outstretched hands into fists.

“I see news travels fast,” Rodney said, his voice sounding choked.  He flicked a glance at the scientist sitting next to him, then back, and John nodded fractionally, his anger ratcheting up another notch.  There was no need to remind him of the rules, for Christ’s sake; he’d been living with don’t ask, don’t tell a hell of a lot longer than Rodney had. 

And besides, did he really expect John to play the jilted lover here in the middle of Rodney’s workplace?  Jeez, that would really be—

Shit.  That was exactly what he was doing.

John slid off Rodney’s desk and straightened.  “Well,” he said, going for a hearty tone, “good luck.  She’s—very pretty.”  In fact, he had no idea what the woman looked like; he hadn’t bothered to look at her as he fled the mess hall the other night. 

“She’s a botanist,” Rodney blurted nonsensically.

“I’m sure you’ll—” _have absolutely nothing in common_, John almost said.  “—learn a lot about—uh, plants, then.”

Rodney nodded furiously.  “Yes.  Yes, I will, won’t I?”  He made a face that under other circumstances would have made John laugh, but at this moment only made him feel strangely hollow. 

Managing a smirk, he drawled, “It’s all about expanding your horizons, Rodney,” and reached out to deliver a manly pat on the arm.  As his hand connected, however, he realized he’d made a tactical error, because the familiar solidity of Rodney’s bicep under his fingers, even through a layer of cloth, was enough to send a dizzying wave of heat coursing through him.  He raised his eyes slightly and was caught and held by a confused sapphire gaze.

_What the hell are you confused about?_ John wanted to yell.  _You’re the one who broke up with _me_._  
__  
And the sheer middle-school angst factor of that thought was enough to startle him out of his stupor.  He turned to Zelenka.  “We ready to go?” he barked.  Startled, Zelenka jumped, spun and nodded all in one motion, then raced to catch up with John as he turned and strode out the door without looking back.

    
    
    
    
 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    
    
    
    
 

  
Now that he was here, he felt like a moron.

“Hey, Rodney.”

Rodney peered at him blearily from the other side of his door.  He blinked a couple of times.  “Hey.”

“Sorry to have woken you up.”  Carson had declared Rodney fit as a fiddle yesterday, so John hadn’t expected to find him still in his bed after eleven the next morning.  But then, he supposed having another person in your head and nearly dying tended to tire you out. 

“No, it’s fine, come in,” Rodney said, which had been so not what John was expecting that he obeyed immediately, like a puppet jerked into motion by its master.

After the door had shut behind him, he took a moment to study his surroundings.  There was a lot more stuff in here than there had been the last time he’d been in Rodney’s quarters; obviously, he’d brought some personal items back with him on the _Daedalus_.  They’d been allowed up to a 2 cubic foot box; John’s had been half-empty, but Rodney’s had probably been bursting its seams.

John walked over to the bed and picked up the sole picture sitting on the nightstand.  “Pretty cat.  What’s her name?”

“Muon,” Rodney muttered.

John stared at him.  “You’re kidding.”

Rodney lifted his chin.  “I thought it was rather clever, actually.”

“Clever and _dorky_,” John said.

Rodney opened his mouth, then shut it with a snap.

“Sorry,” John murmured.  “I should let you get your rest.”

When he was halfway to the door, Rodney blurted, “I’m not seeing her any more.”

John frowned, momentarily stunned.

“Dr. Brown,” Rodney elaborated. 

“Katie,” John said evenly.

“Katie.  Yes.”

“Much as I hate to be predictable, I have to ask:  why?”

Rodney folded his arms.  “I made a complete ass of myself.  Or rather, Cadman made a complete ass of me while I played a supporting role.  But whoever deserves the credit, the fact is that she’s still interested.  She wants to cook me _another dinner_.  Do you suppose there’s something in the Pegasus galaxy flora that affects mental stability?”

“Are you saying that anyone who finds you attractive has to be touched in the head?”  It was a valid theory; John had been feeling none too stable for months now, and that would go a long way toward explaining the periods he’d spent sweaty and naked with the most exasperating person in two galaxies.

Rodney waved a hand.  “No, no, no.  I’m saying that it feels like she’s got me mixed up with someone else.  When she looks at me, I don’t think she’s seeing the real me, but some romanticized ideal she fashioned from her—her girlish fantasies of intergalactic adventure.”

“Girlish fantasies of intergalactic adventure?” John parroted, smirking heavily.  “Well, hell, what’s wrong with living up to an ideal?  You could do with an upgrade.”

“I’m perfectly happy with my current level of development, thank you,” Rodney said tartly.  “And that’s the problem.  She’s only setting herself up for disappointment down the road.”

John raised an eyebrow.  “So you’re going to dump her and get the disappointment over with sooner.”

Rodney took a step forward.  “You don’t get it, do you?” he snapped.  “The person she’s looking at when she looks at me—I have no idea who that person is.  I don’t _recognize _him.  She’d be much better off with—with some hero type.  Like Lorne, maybe.  He seems to be a cut above the usual military Neanderthal.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that last part.  And I hate to tell you this,” John said slowly, “but you’ve earned your hero wings now.”

“What are you talking about?” Rodney demanded, scowling.

“That stunt you pulled, risking your life to save Cadman.  You had everything to lose and nothing to gain.”  He debated briefly with himself, then added, “Not a trace of self-interest there.”

Rodney paused while John held his breath.  “Well,” he said finally, “I suppose if you count the price of my immortal soul…”

“You’re an atheist.”

“Agnostic.”

John sighed.  “Whatever.  My point is, you should quit seeing yourself as the cowardly lion.  Maybe this Katie is seeing the real you.”

Rodney went back to scowling, only this time there was a grain of speculation in it that made John squirm.  “Why are you trying to make me even more conceited than I already am?”

John shrugged and studied the picture of the cat.  _Muon_, for Chrisssakes.  “All part of the service.  You should give yourself a break and go out with her again.  Maybe it’ll go better this time.”

“What are you—” Rodney began, then reined himself in and jutted out his chin.  “No.  Fine.  That’s fine, I—maybe I will.” 

John shook himself; he’d managed to stay detached for this long, but his own energy reserves were starting to dwindle, and it wouldn’t do to be caught out when they disappeared altogether.  He started easing toward the door.  “Good.  Well, look, I’m glad to see you’re recovered…”

“Wait.”

John looked up to see Rodney advancing on him slowly with a purposeful look in his eye, like John was an Ancient device he couldn’t figure out.  John didn’t envy the Ancient devices, because that look was enough to scare the shit out of him. 

Rodney stopped just shy of touching him, but John imagined he could feel the heat of McKay’s sleep-warmed body.  He concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly; in, out, in, out, while those piercing eyes tried to hypnotize him into surrendering the secrets of millennia.

He thought he was doing a good job until Rodney suddenly burst into a supernova grin and said, “Yeah.  That’s me,” then wrapped his arms around John’s unresisting body and reeled him in.

    
    
    
    
 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    
    
    
    
 

  
“So, are we—cool?”

John rolled onto his side and pushed himself up on an elbow.  “_I’m _cool.  You’re fine.”  He touched Rodney’s stubbled cheek.  “Get it right, will you?”

Rodney shook his head.  “In case you haven’t noticed, getting it right isn’t one of my strong suits.  At least where—this—” he waved a hand between them “—is concerned.”

“Yeah,” John drawled, “I think I figured that out when you dumped me in the middle of the cafeteria.  Very eighth grade of you.”

Rodney winced.  “Yes. So—why on earth are you here?”

“Hey, I was just checking up on you when you jumped my bones.”

Rodney’s eyes threatened to pop out of his head.  “I, uh—” he spluttered “—yes.  Sorry.”

John smirked.  “Don’t apologize.  I’m a sucker for your animal magnetism.”  He paused.  “And I really missed getting laid regularly.”

Rodney sighed.  “Me, too.”  He took ahold of John’s hand and turned it over, studying the palm as he murmured, “I, ah, I suppose I missed you, actually.”

John batted his eyelashes.  “Why, Mistuh McKay, y’all say the sweetest thangs.”

“Oh, shut up,” Rodney said, blushing, though his eyes were crinkling and he was fighting a smile.

“Okay,” John said amiably, leaning in to brush his mouth against Rodney’s.  Rodney made a strangled sound and opened his mouth beneath John’s, practically inhaling him.  John had to admit he didn’t mind excessively.

“Mmm,” John said when he could grab some oxygen for himself.  “Good thing Carson doesn’t know how well you really kiss.  I’d have to fight him off with a stick to keep him away from you.”

Rodney sucked John’s lower lip into his mouth and bit down gently before releasing it.  “You’re flattering me again.”

“Bugs you, huh?”

“It’s a little frightening—yes.”

“Yeah, well maybe I kinda sorta suppose I missed you, too,” John murmured, feathering his hands in Rodney’s hair to hold him captive and wide-eyed beneath him. 

“John, I—” Rodney whispered.

“Oh, shut up,” John told him, covering Rodney’s body with his own, smiling when those secret-stealing eyes finally drifted shut.

**Author's Note:**

> First published August 2005.


End file.
